


You're Welcome

by ZweIthePenguinwithaPen



Category: RWBY
Genre: Adam Taurus - Freeform, Adam is her rival so to speak, Blake Belladonna - Freeform, Blake is a battle rapper / slam poet / whatever, Bumbleby - Freeform, But whatever, F/F, I had to sit through that movie one night at work, I hate to make Ilia a bad guy but they can't all be golden, Ilia Amitola - Freeform, Sea Monkeys in the background, Slam Poetry AU, Yang Xiao Long - Freeform, Yang x Blake, also Sun is briefly featured, and those two have recently teamed up, anyway, as cheesy as that sounds, battle rap AU, blake x yang - Freeform, but they aren't together aside from being comrades, have a ridiculous fic, it's kind of inspired by that movie about Eminem, she has a grudge against Ilia, so she and Yang go show them what's good, there's a couple jokes about them doing it, this is also inspired by Wild'n Out, this stems from the same idea as the Black Rainbow series but isn't part of it, which my coworker and I watch a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 00:44:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16984902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZweIthePenguinwithaPen/pseuds/ZweIthePenguinwithaPen
Summary: Battle rap / slam poetry AU. The Club is hosting a slam battle hosted by Adam Taurus and his 'White Fang', and rumor has it he's picked up a scaly new talent. Blake is challenging the Club and confident in her lyrical flow, but this new White Fang girl might be someone she used to know.





	You're Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably my corniest work, but I had fun writing it. Especially all the jokes and punchlines. Anyway have a silly fic.

Blake scribbled line after line onto any loose paper she could find. The big slam was this weekend, and Adam Taurus had talked far too much garbage to win this battle. Him and his 'White Fang' as they were calling themselves made out as though they had the best rhymes in Remnant, but Blake knew better than that. Face to face with her, Adam had never won a rap battle before. She didn't plan to let him start.

  
She'd been hearing about his new recruit, a reptilian knockout with a flow unmatched. That's what her fans had told her. He would probably pull rank or something and get her in a tag battle. His crew did run the Club, so any newcomers were at a disadvantage.

 

_Shove those horns up your ass, T! You're full of it_

_Taurus is composed entirely of bullshit_

_I'm the Black Cat, a lyrical wizard_

_Your new girlfriend looks a lot like a lizard_

_Because every punk in this spot done got with her_

_I bet you still haven't put your hands on her._

_If you tried to feel her up, the cops would call it manslaughter_

_The Black Cat is back, and I brought my firestarter_

  
That was all she had that made any sense at the moment. A few more bars would tie things up nicely, and bouncing lines off of Yang should scare up a nice verse. If Adam did call for a tag battle, Blake and Yang would demolish anyone that came to face them.

 

"So, we have a whole week before this battle? That should be more than plenty. Adam Taurus is definitely not the rapper he likes to think he is. His lyrics aren't bad but the kid can't flow to save his life." Yang mentioned as she exited the bathroom, yawning and stretching. Blake nodded, admiring Yang's arms.

 

"Hey babe, could you do the thing?" She asked the fire dragon. Yang chuckled and flexed an arm. Blake's eyes turned to stars at that. She breathlessly uttered, "Oh, my Dust!"

 

"You're so silly, Kitty Cat," Yang laughed at her black cat. Blake was still mesmerized by her golden dragon. She threw one arm around Yang's shoulders as Yang sat down. "You know, even if Adam actually found some talent that can outdo both of us, I could rough Junior up and still get us a win." She joked, Blake laughing loudly at the idea. Junior wasn't much of a fighter, that was true. He did have those two girls at his side, not to mention a small army of goons.

 

The Malachites were just well-dressed ornaments that could halfway fight. No one in Junior's Club could best Yang in a fight. They surely all remembered that time she'd torn the place apart unless they'd taken leave of their sanity. Even with only one and a half arms, Yang could scrap with the best of them.

 

"I seriously doubt he's found any... unless that reptile girl everyone keeps talking about is the same girl I think she is..."

 

"Who would that be?" Yang asked, curious to know this person in question. Blake's ears folded over, a sign of frustration.

 

"Ilia Amitola. We used to be part of the same crew. They called us the Beastly Beans crew, named after a coffeehouse back in Menagerie. She and I were the two best in the crew. Her flow was better than mine and she was crazy fast, but I wrote the better bars. She even proved that the last I saw her."

 

This intrigued Yang. "How did she prove that you were better?"

 

"We made the scene at a pretty big slam to represent the Beastly Beans... and when her turn came, she stole my lyrics. She took five separate lines from one of my notebooks without so much as asking me. When my turn came, I had a whole two pages I was going to spin, but I closed my notebook and went off the dome. My last two lines were a callout for her. 'I guess I'm solo now, and you finally got your wish. Best not let my lyrics cross your lips again, you thieving bitch!'" Blake laughed at the memory. "I'm pretty sure that won me the slam."

 

"Even if it's her, she'll probably spin Adam's lyrics. We both know those are trash. None of those White Fang can freestyle, either. I'm telling you, Babes, we've got this! We're the Black Cat and the Golden Dragon. The Bee's Knees, even." Yang cheered, Blake smiling at her and kissing her forehead.

 

"We're the bee's knees, its legs, and its arms. Wait, do bees have arms?"

 

"Doesn't matter, the reference is appreciated all the same." Yang grinned. Blake kissed her again, on the lips this time, and suddenly their discussion was over.

 

\/\/\/\/\/

 

The Club was jumping, jumping tonight. This would be the biggest poetry slam to ever hit Vale, judging by this crowd. Blake didn't let herself feel nervous, as she would be the best talent here. The White Fang might be lining Junior's pockets, but Blake and Yang could smash Junior's face if they really needed to.

 

Dust, Blake hoped fervently that they would need to. Junior's face made her sick.

 

Yang returned from the bar toting a backpack full of water bottles. She pulled two of them and passed one to Blake. "You ready for this club, Kitty Cat?" Blake smirked and chortled at that.

 

"This club better be ready for me, Sunshine!" She proclaimed confidently. A yellow monkey tail caught her eye. "WUKONG! Show me your face!" She yelled in his general direction. He turned to see who had called for him, grinning as he saw Blake. He walked toward her, high-fiving her when he got close. "What's the thing, Monkey King?"

 

"Blake, have you seen the new talent Taurus has for this battle?" Sun asked, looking frantic as he asked her. "It's Ilia!" Blake's eyes looked as though they might pop out at the mention of the name.

 

"Really, now? Well, that doesn't change the fact that Yang and I are the best wordsmiths in Vale right now. She'll spin Adam's lyrics because she can't write her way out of a paper bag, and she surely can't free verse. I have my own lyrics and can freestyle better. And I have Yang. She flows as well as I do, if not better, and her lyrics are incredible." Blake's left ear twitched.

 

The slam began. Blake tore through the White Fang's gauntlet of poets one by one, thoroughly defeating everyone that stepped to her. They could not hold a candle to her lyrics. Adam would be her next bout, but she knew he would pull rank and bring his lizard lady to do his work for him, so she would force his hand.

 

"I demand a tag team battle!" She declared, the crowd whooping at that. "Don't think you can pawn me off on your new girl! I present my teammate, the Golden Dragon!" She told them all. Yang took the stage next to her black cat, facing down the reptile and the red bull. Blake kissed Yang on the lips before laying eyes on Ilia. "So, you still stealing rhymes?"

 

"Nice to see you too, you cursed kitten," Ilia spoke, her skin and scales changing colors. She was now a deep scarlet.

 

"So you're White Fang now. Whatever happened to being an independent artist? You know, like you always preached about in Menagerie..." Blake's gold eyes narrowed, a smirk creeping onto her face.

 

"The White Fang crew owns the poetry scene here, and I decided they would be good for my career. It's probably the easiest way to get signed."

 

"Yeah, especially with your bullheaded boyfriend writing lyrics for you. I hear he bones like a bull, by the way. Hopefully, he's not laying it on you like that." The smirk gained sass with every word Blake spoke, especially when she could see the rage on Ilia's color-changing face.

  
"You know I don't get down with men!" Ilia retorted. Yang threw Ilia a finger with her prosthetic.

  
"I used to know plenty about you, but for all I know your scales aren't the only thing that change colors. _If you haven't already, don't let your boy smash! Out here looking like trash in his hentai mask_!" Blake fired. Yang grinned and high-fived Blake with her metal hand for that zing.

  
The coin toss fell to Adam and Ilia, who conceded to Yang and Blake to start things off.

 

The order would be Yang, Ilia, Blake, then Adam.

 

"The Golden Dragon begins the Grand Slam." The deejay announced before dropping a beat.

  
_I see this girl can change colors. That's a little new._

_If I scare her hard enough, will she turn yellow or blue?_

_I bet blue would look nice on her. Lovely and full._

_She'd look perfect if she weren't standing next to that bull._

_Seriously, honey, drop that bullshit you're draggin'_

_Come get your buffet fix from the Golden Dragon_

_Shit, Xiao Long. That wasn't even clever._

_Rhyme harder! Prove you won't stop until the Red Bull's head is severed._

_This bull is on bullshit if he doesn't know that I'm the one_

_The fireball from Patch, bitch! I'm the Dragon of the Sun._

_I make this black cat purr in pleasure. Yeah, I know how to pick them._

_I bet I could make your chameleon girl take my lizard and lick him._

_My cat and I will bust you, about that there's no doubt._

_My daddy don't like you, and my mama said to knock you out_

_Forget what you sang, let me finish with a bang._

_The golden one burns like the sun. You'll catch fire playing with Yang!_

 

  
The crowd roared with excitement as Yang passed the microphone off to Ilia. The 'Kicking Chameleon' spun sixteen bars that sounded well rehearsed, though the crowd clapped all the same. " _Back up, Blondie! You're like Blake with half the charm! So what I don't have your shapes? I've still got more than half an arm!_ " and " _The Golden Dragon? You sound like an Asian buffet, and I bet everyone and their sister can get inside of you on Sunday!_ " were her only notable rhymes. Blake looked through her notebook during Ilia's verse, but she tossed it aside. This was a battle, after all, so she decided to go off her head.

  
_Forget about a bang, let me start this with a Yang._

_A cursed Black Cat screaming FUCK the White Fang_

_You all think you're great rappers just because you're lining Junior's pockets_

_My rhymes could blow all of your eyes straight from their sockets_

_But don't let me keep talking too much shit._

_Your leader is the worst! The Red Bull? More like the Red Bitch!_

_Someone should tear those horns off and shove them up your ass_

_You thought that bringing this reptile was gonna save you from my class_

_Well, I came to school the both of you. I'm a lyrical wizard._

_Your reptile lady must be a parking lot lizard._

_Because she looks like every thug in this spot has been with her_

_She spat your prewritten lyrics. What is she, your kid sister?_

_And you, you think you can spin it better than me? That idea is obscene._

_I've been out-rapping your scaly ass since we slammed at the Beastly Beans_

_This bull prick won't help you. He's on that same whack shit_

_I hope my bars taste bitter, you lyric-thieving bitch!!_

  
The beat cut off at that point, as Blake had taken her allotted sixteen bars, but she paid that no mind and kept going. She got into Ilia's face as she spun the next few bars.

 

_Forget about that beat, Bear2. I'll spin some acapella_

_I'm surprised your damned scales haven't already turned yellow_

_Your boy is grinning his stupid face off, and it makes me laugh!_

_Out here looking like trash with his hentai mask_

_He's sure not packing a hentai shaft_

_His soft staff will make you take a nap_

_Like German sausage, he's the wurst!_

_I'll make sure he leaves this club in a hearse_

_I told you the Black Cat was cursed_

_My bars will make you wish you never spit a verse!_

_Sure I'm over my bar limit, but let me finish first._

_I bet you wish your boy toy here would make you finish first._

_I know I used to, every time, but you chose to leave me far behind._

_You may not be a pig Faunus, but you're a traitorous swine._

_These tricks might think you're all fine, but this whole spot is asinine._

_Fuck you and your bull boy, this battle is mine!_

 

  
"INCONCEIVABLE! The Black Cat just spit 32 bars at the Red Bull! How will he follow that?" Bear2 announced over the deafening roar of the crowd. Taurus took the microphone and the beat dropped. He seemed to be holding off for dramatic effect, but he never even bothered to begin. He motioned to the deejay to cut the beat.

 

"I know when I'm beaten. Looks like the Black Cat is your new champion." He spoke, clearly annoyed. The audience cheered raucously for Blake and Yang, who kissed before they jumped off the stage. Sun congratulated them, as did his blue-haired man-piece Neptune. She crossed paths with Ilia as they left the club, but no words were spoken.

 

None were needed. She'd made her choice a long time ago, stealing Blake's lyrics for her own. She'd made another choice since then, running off with the White Fang crew to try and make herself a real poet. Maybe there was some talent among their ranks, but Taurus was only a ghostwriter. Then again, Ilia was only a reciter anyway, so perhaps the two deserved each other.

 

Blake and Yang held hands as they walked home, content to go fall asleep instead of spending their little bit of prize Lien. There would be time for that soon enough. Maybe a nice brunch or something tomorrow would do the trick. They were always down for food, after all.

 

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended Listening:  
> 'You're Welcome' by Snow Tha Product and Tech N9ne
> 
> So I took the 'Blake writes poetry' idea and ran with it here, probably straight into the ground. Oh well, it was fun to write and maybe someone will dig it!


End file.
